Scotty's Draught
Mmm, beer.
As for my draft, I wasn't quite as serious as the other guys, so some of my picks make no sense aside from an inside joke standpoint.
Kev began with forwards, Greg began with goalies, so I'll start with my defense. Also, subjegated headings to show where the information begins. 4 weeks ina tech writing course and I'm a layout snob. How tragic.
Defense
Zdeno Chara: Best player in the league. Best player in history. Best player there ever will be. Plus he can trip you from anywhere on the ice and eat you whole. If he and Aki Berg ever look each other in the eye the universe will collapse.
Rob Blake: A solid defenseman, I guess. I think my blurb for Chara destroyed anything I can possibly say about any of my other players. Blake's a good guy though, so I guess I'll keep him around.
Marek Zidlicky: Better than McCabe. So there, Greg. He's better because I say so, and everyone agrees with me. Plus Marek is a fun name to say.
Adrian Aucoin: Hardest shot in the league a few years back, and he's also better than McCabe. I don't know if anyone agrees with me on this one, but I guess I'll stick by it. Aucoin and Aki Berg can look each other in the eye without incident, so he's got that going for him.
Nick Boynton: I didn't realize he hadn't signed a contract yet when I drafted him, but I'm sure he will. He better. It'll be a rainy night in Soho when I drop him off my roster. (author's note - I decided to mix in the names of random Pogues songs in the rest of this post. Find them all and I'll clap sarcastically)
Joe Corvo: Joe Corvo is a terrible player and I hope he gets injured so I can justify dropping him. (Just kidding Joe! You rule!) He's my dealbreaker, and whenever a trade can't be made, Joe Corvo gets added to the mix, assuring things will go my way.
Forwards
Todd Bertuzzi: If I should fall from grace, I'll find Todd. I bet he's fun to hang out with. Plus he'll be back with a vengeance this year, and you can interpret that however you want.
Jason Spezza: A golden god, descended to Earth so that we may gaze upon him and see ourselves for the disgusting beasts we are. Plus he scores goals.
Mike Ribeiro: More like Ri-beer-o, you drink when he scores. Or at least I do, if I have streams of whiskey and there's a Habs game on at the same time. Plus he's goofy-looking, and you can't go wrong with a player who looks goofy.
Brett Hull: Oo, look at me, I'm Brett Hull. I'm so good!
Gary Roberts: A love-hate relationship here. I was a Calgary fan back when Roberts helped them win the cup, so he's awesome. Then he knocked the Sens out of the playoffs last year, so he's a bum. Now he's on a team I'm expecting to do some good stuff, so he's okay. Wow, a serious entry, who'da thunk it?
Brenden Morrow: Not much to say except he scores points. Apparently he's hurt, but I think he'll be back for the start of the season, or a few games in. If not, I'll kick him into Hell's ditch and find another player. Either way works for me.
Michal Handzus: I'm not a fan of Philly in general, but that's okay because I cheer for the team that can actually beat them in the postseason. this guy was golden in the playoffs, and he's pretty decent anyway. Plus he's going for the Mark Recchi sketchy look, which can never be a bad thing.
Jody Shelley: *menacing glare*
Goalies
Roberto Luongo: Phase 1 of the Goaltending Trio from Somewhere, Luongo is looking to be traded and will be showing off for the scouts. He's the entire reason Florida even has a team, and he's the sole reason I'm expecting them to do anything. He's another guy with a name that's fun to say.
Jocelyn Thibault: Phase 2, and the only guy who was worth a damn on Chicago last year. He spent most of the year injured, which makes that label especially powerful. He's going to have a surprisingly good team in front of him (feels good to say that about Pittsburgh again), and I think he's going to shine.
Jussi Markkanen: The fairytale of New York is over, and he's been thrust into the cold unforgiving bosom of Edmonton. I'm not sure if he's going to be getting a starting job or not, so phase 3 of the GTfS is still up in the air.
And there you have it, my drafted players. Not the best draft, but hopefully not the worst. I didn't get a chance to pick up dark horse Radim Vrbata, but I don't regret that.
Aki Berg is pointing and laughing while carefully avoiding catching Chara's eye. He knows the power they share. Tremble before it.
As for my draft, I wasn't quite as serious as the other guys, so some of my picks make no sense aside from an inside joke standpoint.
Kev began with forwards, Greg began with goalies, so I'll start with my defense. Also, subjegated headings to show where the information begins. 4 weeks ina tech writing course and I'm a layout snob. How tragic.
Defense
Zdeno Chara: Best player in the league. Best player in history. Best player there ever will be. Plus he can trip you from anywhere on the ice and eat you whole. If he and Aki Berg ever look each other in the eye the universe will collapse.
Rob Blake: A solid defenseman, I guess. I think my blurb for Chara destroyed anything I can possibly say about any of my other players. Blake's a good guy though, so I guess I'll keep him around.
Marek Zidlicky: Better than McCabe. So there, Greg. He's better because I say so, and everyone agrees with me. Plus Marek is a fun name to say.
Adrian Aucoin: Hardest shot in the league a few years back, and he's also better than McCabe. I don't know if anyone agrees with me on this one, but I guess I'll stick by it. Aucoin and Aki Berg can look each other in the eye without incident, so he's got that going for him.
Nick Boynton: I didn't realize he hadn't signed a contract yet when I drafted him, but I'm sure he will. He better. It'll be a rainy night in Soho when I drop him off my roster. (author's note - I decided to mix in the names of random Pogues songs in the rest of this post. Find them all and I'll clap sarcastically)
Joe Corvo: Joe Corvo is a terrible player and I hope he gets injured so I can justify dropping him. (Just kidding Joe! You rule!) He's my dealbreaker, and whenever a trade can't be made, Joe Corvo gets added to the mix, assuring things will go my way.
Forwards
Todd Bertuzzi: If I should fall from grace, I'll find Todd. I bet he's fun to hang out with. Plus he'll be back with a vengeance this year, and you can interpret that however you want.
Jason Spezza: A golden god, descended to Earth so that we may gaze upon him and see ourselves for the disgusting beasts we are. Plus he scores goals.
Mike Ribeiro: More like Ri-beer-o, you drink when he scores. Or at least I do, if I have streams of whiskey and there's a Habs game on at the same time. Plus he's goofy-looking, and you can't go wrong with a player who looks goofy.
Brett Hull: Oo, look at me, I'm Brett Hull. I'm so good!
Gary Roberts: A love-hate relationship here. I was a Calgary fan back when Roberts helped them win the cup, so he's awesome. Then he knocked the Sens out of the playoffs last year, so he's a bum. Now he's on a team I'm expecting to do some good stuff, so he's okay. Wow, a serious entry, who'da thunk it?
Brenden Morrow: Not much to say except he scores points. Apparently he's hurt, but I think he'll be back for the start of the season, or a few games in. If not, I'll kick him into Hell's ditch and find another player. Either way works for me.
Michal Handzus: I'm not a fan of Philly in general, but that's okay because I cheer for the team that can actually beat them in the postseason. this guy was golden in the playoffs, and he's pretty decent anyway. Plus he's going for the Mark Recchi sketchy look, which can never be a bad thing.
Jody Shelley: *menacing glare*
Goalies
Roberto Luongo: Phase 1 of the Goaltending Trio from Somewhere, Luongo is looking to be traded and will be showing off for the scouts. He's the entire reason Florida even has a team, and he's the sole reason I'm expecting them to do anything. He's another guy with a name that's fun to say.
Jocelyn Thibault: Phase 2, and the only guy who was worth a damn on Chicago last year. He spent most of the year injured, which makes that label especially powerful. He's going to have a surprisingly good team in front of him (feels good to say that about Pittsburgh again), and I think he's going to shine.
Jussi Markkanen: The fairytale of New York is over, and he's been thrust into the cold unforgiving bosom of Edmonton. I'm not sure if he's going to be getting a starting job or not, so phase 3 of the GTfS is still up in the air.
And there you have it, my drafted players. Not the best draft, but hopefully not the worst. I didn't get a chance to pick up dark horse Radim Vrbata, but I don't regret that.
Aki Berg is pointing and laughing while carefully avoiding catching Chara's eye. He knows the power they share. Tremble before it.
posted by Scotty at
11:19 PM
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